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CHAT WITH PAT
Answers to your personal questions from someone who
cares........
DEAR PAT:
I am a police officer who was on duty when I was hit by a car doing 55 mph. I
suffered massive injuries and was comatose for 2 months. Since the accident, I
have been questioning my faith in God. Is it normal for a person with a brain
injury to experience religious conflict?
PAT'S RESPONSE:
It is normal for anyone who has experienced a trauma to experience
religious conflict. Traumatic events include brain injury, a relative’s
death, war, job loss, the big 3-0, the big 4-0, etc. Events that make us
consider the "big picture," the meaning of life, why certain things happen
to us can trigger religious ponderings. Many people who survive brain trauma
find religion; they may attribute a seemingly miraculous recovery to
supernatural forces (i.e., God). Others may wonder why they bothered to be
pious in the first place; why did such a bad thing happen to such a good
person? Some people may even feel that God is punishing them for their
irresponsible behavior, their natural depravity (but then if that’s the
case, we’re all in trouble). Bottom line: it is very difficult to reconcile
in ourselves why traumatic events occur; we often search for reasons in
vain. Don’t blame yourself or God. Pat suggests that you rest in your faith,
allowing it to sustain you, as you keep in mind that the things of this
world are temporal and eternal peace awaits. (Or eternal damnation,
whichever.)
DEAR PAT: My partner (I’m a police officer) suffered a
brain injury. He sustained frontal lobe damage. Just looking at him, you would
think he’s OK, but he has so many mental problems which he finds difficult to
deal with. This man is like a brother to me, and I want so much to help him, but
I don’t know how. I try to be there for him when he feels bad but I don’t know
what to do. I might be asking an impossible question, but how can I help him?
How can I make him feel better? (I wish it were me instead of him.)
PAT'S RESPONSE:
Pat is moved by your compassion. I imagine your friend is, as well. You
probably have no idea what a strength you are to him. It is unusual for
someone with a brain injury and resulting psychological problems to maintain
significant friendships -- most people like this eventually end up alone.
Your solid, compassionate friendship is probably the most valuable help you
can give him.
It is very common for someone with frontal lobe damage to experience severe
personality changes, as well as difficulty controlling their own emotions
and behavior. Depression is common, as a result of actual changes in the
brain, as well as a natural reaction to the trauma of the injury and its
consequences. While you can do little to change your friend’s behavior, you
can help by conveying that solid compassion to him in many ways:
- Communicate in simple, direct, understandable terms;
- Be consistent in the way you treat him;
- Repeat things as much as necessary;
- Help create an environment that is calm and nurturing -- not
over-stimulating;
- Promote opportunities for success;
- Listen to and respond to your friend;
- Be patient and non-critical;
- Do fun things together often;
- -stimulating;
- Promote opportunities for success;
- Listen to and review each day as a new beginning -- don’t dwell in
yesterday or tomorrow. Finally, if you think your friend needs help that
he is not getting, assist him in finding a good therapist who
understands brain injury. A neuropsychologist who counsels men or
possibly runs a support group for people with brain injuries would be a
good start. Your state Brain Injury Association has brain injury support
groups, as well. Perhaps you could attend a meeting or two with your
friend to get him started.
DEAR
PAT:Dear Pat, my dad told me that my cousin has a brain injury. I am very
nervous because my dad said she may get a tumor. What should I do?
PAT'S RESPONSE: Brain tumors make everyone nervous, especially
because tumors can appear in otherwise healthy, young individuals. There are
many possible causes for a brain tumor, such as cancer, but sometimes the
cause cannot be determined. If your cousin is at-risk for a brain tumor, for
whatever reason, she should be evaluated by a neurologist regularly to
monitor her health. This is the best way to "watch" for tumor growth and
initiate prompt treatment if it becomes necessary. Pat’s advice to you is to
find out as much as you can about brain tumors, so that you know what your
cousin and family are dealing with. Look at the links on this site,
investigate information at a medical library, look through medical journals
at a university library. The more educated you are about brain tumors, the
better able you will be to support your cousin, and the less frightening
this will seem.
The more one knows about anything, the more empowered one is (except when it
comes to Pat, in which case the less one knows about Pat, the better).
DEAR
PAT:
Pat, my brother sustained a severe head injury and was treated out of state
(not in his home state). After treatment, my brother returned to his home state
and tried to resume a normal life. However, he has lost his job, experienced
paranoia, depression and delusions. The response of health care professionals
here has been to "lock him up" in the local hospital. We, his family, feel this
is inappropriate. He is not at risk of harming himself or others, but he needs
the right kind of help. We are wondering how to find resources in this state
similar to those in the state where my brother was injured.
PAT'S RESPONSE:
Almost every state has a Brain Injury Association which can refer you to
brain injury rehabilitation specialists and programs, as well as other
important resources for people with brain injury-related disabilities. To
find out how to contact the Brain Injury Association in your state, contact
the national affiliate, the Brain Injury Association, Inc., in Washington,
D.C. at (202) 296-6443 or 1-800-444-6443.
DEAR
PAT:
Why would a neuropsychologist recommend Ritalin to a person with a traumatic
brain injury? Can a brain injury cause Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)?
PAT'S RESPONSE:
This question presents Pat an interesting opportunity to reveal some very
personal information to the audience. Pat is NOT a neuropsychologist. Pat
recommends that you consult a neuropsychiatrist for the following reasons:
- A neuropsychiatrist is a Medical Doctor (M.D.) and can prescribe
medicines; a neuropsychologist cannot.
- A neuropsychiatrist specializes in neurological dysfunction/brain
injury treatment; a psychiatrist does not necessarily have this
specialty.
- A neuropsychiatrist can work effectively with a neuropsychologist
and other professionals to determine whether the brain injury possibly
caused the ADD. There can be a link between brain injury and behavioral,
emotional, and psychiatric conditions such as ADD. See the FAQ’s on this
site for more information.
PAT’S FINAL COMMENTS: To those of you who submitted
questions regarding the following: helping someone with memory loss, helping
a family member understand mild brain injury, and sports concussions, please
consult the updated list of FAQ’s f>or information; look under Problems
After TBI-Cognitive; Special Issues-Family; and Basic Aspects-Causes,
respectively. Pat is especially concerned about you people with sports
concussions . . . don’t become another Mike Tyson.
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